Thoughts on Blogging-Part One

Here is a straight from my heart post. This is not a boo-hoo poor me thing, but a truly honest take on what has been stirring within me for a long time. I sense I am not alone.  I bet many bloggers out there feel exactly like I have/do/will. When do you call it quits? What's the point anyway?  I mean, really. 

Seriously. There are those shiny blogs out there that you know are very popular and they do offer oodles of ideas and resources.  Thank God for them.  I have gone there many a time to get new inspiration or ideas to help me carry on. But what about my blogs?  If I go by traffic (I am betting many hits are just spam) then I would have to say I am definitely not in that category.  The real kicker here is that I am not even sure I want to be.  It's work.  They must continually maintain and keep on top of it to be that successful. Do I even want that responsibility?  What about the posts I pen?  Are they just junk to the reader?  Useless? Are they even remotely helpful? 

Honestly-I can't answer that.  

I truly decided I was done blogging. It's true.  Done. I lost the love of it and I didn't see any reason to continue.  Hence the lack of postings over the last year or so.  It has been on my mind (letting it go) for a long time now. I felt like I put a lot of effort into what I was writing/creating and had very little response/traffic to justify the time involved.  Why write when no one is even reading it? So I did very little to maintain it and just let it sit there as it begged me to put it out of it's misery.  

I mean, did anyone really care?  Was I helping fellow moms/homeschoolers or was I just taking time away better spent with my family?  Frankly, it was the latter not the former of that question that hit me like a big pizza pie in the eye.  I was blogging for not.  Now, I know people have lives, so cruising the internet for this or that isn't always possible.  But I also know many gals do have successful blogs that truly are a help-that get readership and have loyal fans.  They exist and thrive. They are blessings.  

I didn't (and still am unclear here) feel mine were much help. And that is the cold hard truth that has literally kept me awake at times-pondering...

Do I just let it go?  

I have prayed about it.  I have even shed a tear or two about it. 

I have let it sit so as not to make any rash decisions. 

Then I had a talk with myself.

I have been a mom now for almost 27 years, have cared for children since before I was 13, I have an Early Childhood Development degree, have worked at a Montessori school, had home day cares, taught Sunday School, researched the snot out of different homeschool methods, curriculum and so forth, wrote reviews on curriculum for four years, helped with homeschool groups, ran a homeschool co-op for a time, plus I have done home preschool through high school graduation with my children for over 25 years. Surely I have some insight, some useful nugget of hope or help that can inspire or encourage someone out there.  I know I have, I have comments attesting to it.  But is that enough?

Our lives are different now from whence I started blogging. Three of our children have graduated. Two have earned college degrees, moved out and gone on to be successfully employed adults. So yes,  to all those doubters, they are able to live -no thrive- in the real world.  One is currently working (while still living at home to save for future expenses) and will be attending college down the road. The baby of the family is our lone student. The dynamics are different. Homeschooling one vs four is a big change.  It's definitely a "horse of a different color" from our humble beginnings. Do I have anything new, update and hip to offer?  Or is it all the same regurgitated stuff penned on a different day?  Is there enough in me to want to continue? Want to keep coming up with different ideas or projects? 

For five people to read in five minutes? I don't know-I truly don't. And here I am-standing in some vast wasteland of doubt with discouragement bombs raining down with hurricane force. Do I truly want to make that [dedicated, intense and committed] walk across this land to save my blogs or grab a shovel and bury it quickly.  Very, very quickly and move on along down the road?

Right now, I have decided to wait it out. I will continue to pray to see what comes about. I guess, all five of you out there who may read this-you too will have to wait too to see what becomes of this. The 'to save or not to save my blogging career' will not be made lightly-but it's become abundantly clear I need to get off the fence and go in one direction.